Monday, August 29, 2016


(music: Helpless - Phillipa Soo/Hamilton)

I look into your eyes,
and the sky's 
the limit / I'm helpless

I'm so into you / I am so into you

It's been a strangeish sort of week. I guess I'm okay with strange, and I'm sure stranger things have happened, all things considered.

At this precise moment, I am dancing and grooving to Helpless. Listening to the Hamilton soundtrack always distracts me from typing but let me indulge, I'm living in the moment and relating to the lyrics and I just wanna enjoy being in love, okay? Also, Helpless is a rare track off Hamilton that's upbeat enough to bop to, and it has barely any negative connotation/heartwrenching sadness/struggle in it.

So I went to stay with Joey last weekend because you know, life is short, you only live once, carpe diem, follow your heart &c &c?

On Saturday, he was working on his Mazda and I began reading a book I found in his room (if you leave me alone anywhere, I will most likely start reading something I find --- it's a good thing my hosts have all had such great books), The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick.

It took me a day to finish it but it was such a good read. I loved the alternative dystopia he set up (Germany and Japan win World War II and have taken control of the world), I mean wow, it seemed extremely bleak and abysmal and it made me really appreciate the reality that we live in.

So anyway, as I was saying, Joey worked on re-wiring his Mazda.

He worked from day....

To night....

He drew his own diagram to figure out the wiring, and I found it so ADORKABLE. Y IS DIS MAN SUCH QTPIE.

I loved seeing his dedication to his vehicles, and we also watched videos of SpaceX and Blue Origin rocket launches, and he made snide remarks about Blue Origin. The man.... takes so much pride in his job and the place he works at, I just, you know? When someone is passionate, it's hard not to be infected by it.

I was asking him the most inane questions about what he was doing, and it was nice to have him answer them. I don't know, I didn't really have a strong father figure or male role model for a long time in my life and it wasn't like my mother was interested in this kinda thing.

Plus even with my stepdad, I have three sisters, so it's five females in my household, and I never really got the whole hands-on working-on-stuff thing.

I'm sure if I had seen it while growing up, it would have piqued my interest so I'd know more about it, but I'm as clueless as it gets when it comes to cars and rockets and whatnot. It was fun to learn, it was literally like a whole new world.

I don't know if Joey was tryna involve me in the process, but he asked me if I wanted to dilute the antifreeze/coolant with water and pour it into the engine (engine? tank? who the fuck knows?).

I loved it, and if I could observe someone working on their cars/vehicles all the time, I'd definitely pick up some of it.

That night, we watched Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (finally??? I remember Irene recommending it to me like literally years ago) and Joey made incessant silly remarks, I couldn't help rolling my eyes but grinning anyway. You know the level of affection is real when all you wanna do is roll your eyes but you start laughing. Goddamn, I hated providing him that satisfaction.

On Sunday, we drove up to the canyons again. Which means my heart was racing again. Which means I had no chance of not falling deeper for him, none at all.

I was wearing a two-piece crop-top-with-skorts outfit, it made me have yet another weird tanline. I have four separate tan lines, it is ludicrous how strong the sun is out here. I was in a car!!!!!!!! And I had sunscreen on!

We drove back from Malibu, afterwhich Joey agreed to teach me to drive.

He let me drive his Honda, which is pretty much a piece of junk (he says so himself???).

We went to an empty Kaiser Permanente parking lot (parking lots here are basically a massive block of space, unlike the narrow spots in Singapore --- which also explains why my parents have never let me drive, too high a possibility of damaging other vehicles, lol).

Joey told me that The Man in the High Castle has a TV series adaptation and I saw a billboard of it:

I've watched the first episode, and hmmmm.... It doesn't really stay that true to the book, and I'm not sure whether it will be all that similar, but I feel like so far (based on one episode), I prefer the book. I'll watch more episodes and see if I like it.

My sister Lyssa has been dating this boy called Dan, and they are the cutest things in the entire world, Huda and I ship them so hard. My little sisters and I love Dan too, we are so ready to have him as our brother-in-law, hehehehe.

He circled the flamingo, and asked if it was misspinkalot (AKA ME) and flamingos are my favourite animal, lololol.

So Lyssa told him that I would blog about it, and his reaction is as below:

Apparently he felt honoured and prepared a thank-you speech. The boy is ridonkulously adorable. If he ever hurts Lyssa, boy u fucken ded. I will cut you. U BEST WATCH UR STEP. But otherwise, welcome to the family. ;)

I moved to a place far out in Redondo Beach, and it was a really nice house.

Like Radhika's place on Rosecrans/in Manhattan Beach, it was just a short walk away from a gorgeous beach.

He also gave me my own room. My first thoughts about the room were that I loved it of course, 'cos I could leave my shit anywhere I wanted, and I had an entire bed to myself. Hello???? But then I eventually... changed my mind, but I'll pick up on that story in a while.

My host's name was Dustin, and when I arrived, he had his best friend Rachel over. They were superbly nice and friendly, I liked them a lot. They were also high on MDMA (whatever that means --- I haven't had any experience with that), so maybe that played a part. They were still super cool, though.

On my second night in Redondo, my host and I went for a sushi dinner, and on the way there, we walked along RAT Beach (Right After Torrance Beach, is that cute or what lol) and the sky was amazing.

I feel like Cali has good vibes 'cos the weather is almost always great --- I heard this commercial on the radio that was like "didn't do everything you wanted this summer? that's okay, here in Los Angeles, you can do those things literally any other time of the year" and it made me smile, it's pretty much on point.

We had really good sushi (I forgot the name of the place) and then he asked what I'd done on my trip and about the people I'd met, so I mentioned Joey of course. He was telling me how cool it was that Joey is an engineer with SpaceX and that he, Dustin, had a crush on Elon Musk. Dustin said he would go to Mars even if he had to spend the rest of his life there. Hmm....

What is this, guys? Is Joey really more interesting than I am? I mean, yes he's a rocket engineer who drives racecars and plays the violin, piano and deejays music. Does that mean he's cooler than I am??? Does it really???? Don't answer that. (Even my best friend loves him, so I know the answer already.)

No but anyway, Dustin and I had a pretty interesting conversation, we talked about relationships and having kids and he said he was brought up in a sheltered, privileged life. According to him, his life has been almost too easy, and he's looking for challenges and difficulty so he can grow and learn. (Yeah, I felt like punching his face a little. How is life so unbalanced???)

I love that LA has this culture of like.. take-one-leave-one book exchanges, pretty much everywhere. It's so encouraging to people who can't afford books, and I've left some of my books around, and taken some (to be honest, I've currently got a book from Dustin that I have got to return, but he lives so faaaaaaaaaaar /sulkyface).

So that night, one of the strangest things that's ever happened in my life, happened.

I woke up at like 2am 'cos I'd received a text from Lyssa or whatever, and then I realised there was a tapping on my window, behind me. I thought it might have been Dustin or Rachel, high on MDMA again, pranking me.

I went to the window and the tapping stopped. I looked out and there is nothing at the window, guys. It was shut tight, there is no ledge or parapet for anything or anyone to be there, there are no trees or anything nearby.

I went back to bed and looked away from the window, at myself (the wardrobe is one of those that has a mirror on it) and texted my sister. The tapping started again, so I looked around at the window, and it stopped. So I looked away, and it would continue again. It went on several times for at least half an hour.

It's not like I'm the most superstitious of people, guys, I don't believe in spirits, and I kept telling myself I'm a rational person, there is a scientific explanation. But then I tried Facetiming Lyssa, and for the first time in the six weeks I've been here, Facetime wouldn't connect my calls, so I freaked.

I ran to Dustin's room, and it was almost hilarious, if I wasn't so creeped out and about to pee my pants. I remember he said "are you fucking serious, Sarah?" and I said, with absolutely no humour at all, "yes, I'm fucking serious."

He let me in, and I literally plopped myself down on his bed, and he sighed. Like if there was ever a relenting sigh of acceptance, that was it. I lay down on the edge of his bed, and because I couldn't sleep, he couldn't sleep either (or for whatever reason, who knows).

I lay on his bed for about an hour or so, looking up at the ceiling. It was strange. I was in bed with a man I barely knew, and even till now, I have had no skin contact with him. There was a massive space between us, but because I'd had one of the most disturbing experiences in my life, I felt like okay, I have no more fronts! This man thinks I'm crazy! It can't get any worse!

The poor man!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like horribly indebted to him for disrupting his sleep before he went to work super early in the morning. I need to get him something in return. I swear to God, Dustin is one of the best, kindest, chillest, nicest hosts I've had, thank heavens for that.

I also still have his book, which, just incidentally, is one of the most important books I've read in my life. It's Ishmael by Daniel Quinn, and it's philosophical, about humanity and human existence. I loved it, and I also happened to take it from Dustin without even actually informing him about it prior (but he then texted me that it was okay and told me to enjoy it, lol). Why is Redondo Beach so far? Why am I unable to drive????

ANYWAY: long story cut slightly short, when you Couchsurf at least you meet nice, understanding people who give in to your crazy even if they don't know you, unlike if you stayed in a hotel. This is what Couchsurfing is about, increasing your faith in humankind. If you encountered weird shit in a hotel.... Well, I guess you could go down to the lobby and stay there. But still. Couchsurfing is the way to go (says I again, the extrovert with thick skin but weak guts made of jelly).

The next day, I went to Downtown LA with Bill, and moved to his place, because I didn't wanna sleep in the haunted house anymore, HAHAHAHA (but not really laughing inside).

We went to Grand Central Market and had eggslut sandwiches. I texted this to Joey, I said I'd found my food soulmate and he said "we already knew you like eggs more than me." I smirked because it was kinda true, and yet even when I'm eating my food soulmate, I'm still thinking of Joey. -_________-

Bill has similar glasses to Lyssa's, One side of the frame has broken off, and they refuse to replace them. (Upside-down smiley / Blogger srsly needs to implement emojis, it's the currency of today's society!!!!!!)

And now, I'm gonna talk about something also quite strange. The interwebs doesn't usually talk about embarrassing stuff like this, but I am, because why not. When I woke up, I found out I'd stained the bed during my period, and I was mortified.

I was gonna sneak out and clean it up, but then Bill saw me right at that moment, and he was at the doorframe asking what I was doing, so I... reluctantly told him I'd stained the bed.

It was that bad, guys.

I was feeling humiliated 'cos my mum always thinks staining the bed is like the worst offence you could ever possibly do in the world. Like srsly I've never felt more worthless than when I stain my bed. She pretty much thinks we're the devil's spawn whenever we do it, you can ask my sisters too. I dunno, I think it's 'cos like period blood is apparently "dirty" blood according to the religion or whatever.

But then Bill was just like, oh whatever. He didn't even blink an eye, he was like "yeah, it happens... no worries, I have other bedsheets" and I was like, what????? I guess it may be because he grew up with sisters as well, but oh my God, I felt so relieved.

It just felt nice, his reaction made me feel like there was no need to be ashamed of a natural humanly function, I felt really, really assured.

Like this world and its patriarchy, it has no qualms sexualising the female human body and displaying a woman's tits and ass, but the moment period blood is mentioned, suddenly it's gross and Instagram shuts down photos that displays period blood. I mean, why is it so hard to accept that women's bodies have a reproductive function that is unsexual and not for male pleasure? I wonder.

When I have kids (if I have any), I will raise them to be comfortable with their bodies. They can stain anything they want, lolololol.

No but really, the monthly stresses of having my period are just... strange. Like I have enough to think about with my period cramps and fluctuating hormones without being made to feel ashamed of accidentally staining surfaces with blood. Fuck that shit. It can be cleaned.

....Like I said, it's been a strange week, but stranger things have happened.

On a completely unrelated note, I was telling Bill that the red sauce from The Halal Guys was the spiciest thing I've had in the US, and then he gave me a bottle of Insanity Sauce, to make me eat my words.

Insanity Sauce is now the spiciest thing I've tasted in the US, it's crazyyyyy hot. I drank so much water and milk trying to save and revive my tastebuds.

One of my favourite, bittersweet things to do on this trip is writing note cards to my hosts. :)

On Friday, I went over to Joey's again. He was wearing a button-down shirt, and a line from Helpless hit me, (then you walked in, and my heart went "boom") except that I walked in, and my heart went 'boom', lol.

I still remember the night I first met him, it was after the Dodgers game. He was taking me around the house and there were a dozen people there, but for some reason I was only interested in Joey. I don't know why, I love his eyes, and his eyelashes and his nose and his lips, and everything about him is attractive to me.

I think it's a bit of a novelty for me, being attracted to someone for both their looks and personality. If you've seen me through the years, you'd know my boyfriends were my friends first, and one of them was my best friend ever at the time, and I fell for them because they were really intelligent (I always admire the smart ones because I can leech off their knowledge hahahah) and I was never crazily physically attracted to them.

And then I met Joey, and I'm like, how is this man handsome and a genius? He's basically Alexander Hamilton (handsome, boy does he know it).

So anyway, one of his roommates Chip was putting together his motorbike.

Joey is slightly colourblind (I think the colours that affect him are purple, green and brown) so when he was indicating a wire to Chip, he said "this guy, whatever the fuck colour this is" which amused me to no end. (Slight colourblindness seems to be his only flaw so far.)

We hung out yesterday, climbed onto the roof of their house (as if the house itself doesn't have enough space, lol), watched his roommate Tiaan tattoo his other roommate Austin. Joey also spun a bit of music, played a bit of piano, basically inadvertently did everything within his power possible to make me fall deeper for him, except I didn't see him play violin, hah!

That was it for my strangeish week. Tomorrow I have an exciting start to my final full week in LA! Have a lovely week. So Much Love! ♥

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