Tuesday, February 20, 2018


One time, Adam had a dream that he played me his music and I didn’t like it, and he felt downhearted for it, even though I have never heard any of his music in reality nor commented on it. I had a strange dream last night, it was not related to Adam, but then when I woke up I still felt feelings, so I suppose, try as we might, sometimes it is the most unreal of things that feel the realest. Why do the opinions of those we love matter so much, that we tend to hurt them, when we don’t hear the opinions that we want? How counterproductive is this, lol.

Last night, I met Pamela and we talked about her existential crisis and how neither of us would want kids. Before we’d met, she told me that Nina Nakamura thinks I’m gorgeous:

Nina works at another Lush store in Singapore and she’s super cool and pretty, so like, yeah. Girls supporting girls, I’m so in for this. Also: Pamela is pretty and everyone is pretty and if no one has told you you are pretty today, here, take it from me (the person who’s so bad at lying I never even try), you are beautiful.

I was listening to the Valley Forge demo on the Hamilton mixtape (whose playlist on my Spotify I have fondly renamed Hamixtape, because I have strange feels about the entire universe of Hamilton the musical), and it’s basically Lin-Manuel Miranda battling against himself as the different characters “do you have no influence at all, you fucking skinflints?!” and you can hear him doing all the vocals on his GarageBand, and it made me think:

Lin-Manuel and Vanessa Nadal and their son, Sebastian, and their second child on the way, are some of my favourite people in the world, and I barely even know them. If I had life shipping goals, it would be between Lin and Vanessa, and Mark and Priscilla and their daughters and dog who is the cutest mop-dog in the world.

Like, if anything bad happens at all, on any given day, whether in my life or in the world at large, all I have to do is look to either couple/family and I feel better. We all need more things to give us hope, and I hope y’all have something like the Mirandas or the Chan-Zuckerbergs for regular words and actions of hope, or otherwise, you should just follow them on Facebook/Twitter/your choice of social media. I’m out!

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