Friday, September 27, 2019

ECHO CHAMBER

If I ever decided to raise kids, I would get them into the practice of meditation early in life, and let them be adept in it as a skill for their own future. The thing about meditation is, I used to think it was about emptying your mind, which was impossible to me, but recently I've been using an app for guided meditation. It works wonders (I say, well aware I sound like an infomercial). When I meditate, the person - who has a soothing voice - tells me to think about certain things in the present, in my present, feeling my breath, listening to sounds. I don't know about you, but as a person who consumes as much media as I do food, my brain never stops. In my head, I am thinking about Hasan Minhaj and Jameela Jamil, Tan France and Taylor Swift, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Elizabeth Warren. I think about my ex-boyfriends and about my current boyfriend, I think about whether my current boyfriend will ever become an ex. I think about how much I actually like and accept change now. I think about the impeachment and how much I don't like to consume media about Donald Trump yet am constantly bombarded by such information. I think about brownface and sexual assaults, I think about the games I am good at playing, I think about many, many things and I am always thinking. So when I meditate, I think about one specific thing, and I'm being trained not to think about anything else. Your brain can only focus on one thing at any one time. So I focus on my breathing. It acts as a divider, between my constant streams of consciousness. I like meditation and therapy and I am glad they work for me most times. Sometimes I forget about the tattoo on my spine, it says "the fact that you're alive is a miracle" and I do feel such a way, indeed. I went for my pelvic ultrasound scans last week for the terrible period cramps and will have a consultation with the doctor next week. I hope I am okay.