Sunday, July 5, 2020


When you enter the lululemon store I work at, the floor has a quote inscribed into it. It says: "this is not your practice life. this is all there is." I've been seeing it more and more often now, and I'm trying to decide if it means something to me. Also, last week, a guest asked me whether I had bought any lululemon stock because they're a great investment and my brain was like, "are you gonna buy them for me? If I could afford to buy lululemon stocks, why would I be here on the floor exposing myself to COVID-19 serving you?" I didn't say so, however, I just said yeah, the company is in a good position, which is true. Even with the quarantine, people kept buying lululemon products online to work out at home, and I will sometimes not understand people at all.

Two weeks ago, I asked Lucas whether my tattoo was looking any faded, given that I've been going swimming and my back is exposed to the sun more often. I've had the tattoo for as long as I've known Lucas, which is at least one year. For the first time, Lucas found out the sunflower was joined to its stalk made of the quote, and not a sunflower randomly joined to a vertical string of words. 

.......I've been with him for a year and he didn't know it was supposed to be a stalk! Do I need to have a cover-up tattoo or does everyone else know what it's supposed to be? Given its placement, the only photo I have of it is when I got it done. It looks like a sunflower stalk, right?

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(tattoo by: @maxinengps) There is a sunflower on my spine, whose stalk is a quote from my favorite musical, Lin-Manuel Miranda's @hamiltonmusical, in the song That Would Be Enough. Sunflowers are the only flowers I really like, I'm not much of a flower person. I like sunflowers because they grow tall and towards the sun, drawn to warmth and brightness. I'd like to think I relate to that a lot. The quote is “the fact that you're alive is a miracle”, because as was the case for A. Ham, there were certain points in life that pushed me down, kicked me into the ground, and I would feel it easier to give up and end my life, but instead, I just kept on keeping on. The decision to have a tattoo is not an easy one for me, my family is religiously and culturally Muslim and disapprove of tattoos, to put it very mildly. To them, tattoos mean that a person's skin is perpetually stained, unable to be “cleaned” by ablution and that person is thus unable to perform their five daily prayers. I don't understand instructions with little basis I can identify with. I am a very honest person, I never cheat nor steal, I don't sexually harass anyone, I accompany my grandma to the market for grocery-shopping, I care for animals and the environment, and if a god exists and that god judges me for my skin instead of the intentions within my heart, I don't think I'd want to respect such a figure, anyway, let alone pray to one. I can be good without god, and I am. I also love that this tattoo is as permanent as my body, and as temporary as my life. This life is mine, and so is this body. More words on #tattoo #ink #spine #sunflower #love #life #hamilton

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