Wednesday, March 28, 2018

TRIGGER

I figured it out. The last time I was properly, full-blown sick, it was in LA. I had an ear infection and everybody from Abbot Kinney to Hollywood seemed to be worried about me, because I wasn't an American citizen and therefore nobody knew how much it would cost for me to see a doctor. I eventually ended up seeing one near Amoeba Records, not sure why.

 

My hosts were all trying to make me feel better, they made all sorts of health drinks, and let me sleep in their bedrooms while they took the couch, although as a couchsurfer, the norm is for guests to take the couch.

 When I first met Joey, I was still recovering. I remember one of the first things I texted him was whether I could crash at his place 'cos I wasn't feeling well, and he said "you're funny" and he also told me that their house was more of a party house, but I was welcome to try and rest.

As I got better, I also fell for him, but I left LA unknowingly pregnant and headed towards the nastiest part of my life. I saw the doctor today, and I have a throat infection, which caused a fever as well as headache and body aches.

I would think perhaps being sick is a reminder of being in LA. The good thing about this is apparently I was never really physically ill in 2017. The other thing is perhaps I can never fall sick for the rest of my life, or I can now be aware that when I'm sick, the delirium cannot be trusted, and I will not find myself in another mess just because I am sick, because I'm not always sleeping with strangers. I'm not even sleeping with anyone.

Imma go take my antibiotics, lozenges and other medicine, and crash. I hope you all feel better than I do. I feel like a right mess, both in my mind and body.