to go with grace
cause when I'd fight,
you used to tell me I was brave
and if I'm dead to you
why are you at the wake?
cursing my name
wishing I stayed
look at how my tears ricochet
and I can go anywhere I want
anywhere I want
just not home
and you can aim for my heart,
go for blood
but you would still miss me
in your bones
and I still talk to you
when I'm screaming at the sky
and when you can't sleep at night
you hear my stolen lullabies
According to my sister, I have night terrors. None of my exes ever told me this so I'm not sure if it's only happened in recent years. Apparently my thrashing and flailing during my sleep is strong enough to wake her up sometimes. I don't remember if I slept well by myself when I was in New York. I don't remember sleeping by myself very often, ever in my life. I thought I slept better with someone by my side, but I guess not.