Wednesday, March 13, 2019


The new episodes of Terrace House Karuizawa just got released. How strange it is, watching it again in Singapore. The last time I watched it was with Adam in December, and now Adam and I are dunzo. One of the things I really liked about having gone to New York when I did was actually feeling out how it would be to be in a relationship with him. We didn't work out, but it can never be said it was for a lack of trying. We used to be able to chat, long-distance, about many things, but when it came down to it, I don't think we had the right kinds of feelings when we were next to each other. You really can't force love. Anyway, in the latest episodes, there is an older house member, whom the commentator panel deem as an adult, because he's 31. He's looking for love and even has marriage on his mind. So apparently the real line of maturity that validates someone as an adult is when they're in their thirties. Also I've been reading (as I do) and apparently most guys will go through their stages of being fuckboys, and they eventually grow out of it when they're ready. I've been going after the wrong age category all this while! They magically turn into caring, responsible, selfless, mature, straightforward, honest adults at age thirty! How amazing this science is. Alrighty, I will date no one younger than 30. Not even 29 years and 364 days old.


I really like being in a relationship. I like being one half of a whole. I think it's silly to justify the fact that I want to be in a relationship, because good relationships are great. You have a best friend whom you can talk to about many things, most things, everything if you're really lucky. You can tell them you're having cramps and they will cuddle you and get you chocolate. You can tell them your family members, or work, or politics or anything in life is tiring you out, and they'll listen to you. You watch TV shows that you may never have watched without each other. You sleep in someone's arms, and you feel great telling someone you love them and being told they love you before you drift off to sleep. Sometimes you have sex before going to sleep, sometimes when you wake up together, and sometimes just in the middle of the night, if you're both feeling lucky. You have someone to send memes to, and dress up for, and you can cook for each other, you can cook and eat together. You remember each other's favorite snacks when you shop for groceries and it feels great both to be the person getting that snack for your loved one and to receive that snack from your loved one. It's great if you both think of each other as snacks, which is why I tend to date only men I'm physically attracted to, and on the flipside, it can't be any different because which man wouldn't think I'm a snack? :P Sometimes it hurts because you fight and have to compromise but then you remember that they were in your corner fighting for you against your own demons, so you realize it's worth losing parts of yourself when you're getting so much more in return. When you go to the movies, you have someone's shoulder to lean on, and when you're walking on the sidewalk, you have someone's hand to hold, and when you go to parties, you have each other's looks to catch to signal that you'd rather be home Netflix and Chilling together than at this party of people you barely even know.