Thursday, February 4, 2021


Last night, I had a politics class. My two politics classes this week have been quite riveting, I enjoy the discourse but I don't appreciate the fact that it's between two and three-ish AM in Singapore, by the time it ends, my brain neurons are actively firing and then I slip into some form of restless sleep. I had a supernatural horror nightmare after my class last night/this morning, and woke up with a start, while also screaming. Not fun. 

In my Monday class, one of the boys said he was for the Keystone oil pipeline that was to be built between Canada and the US. The boy is from Alberta in Canada, and he said he knew many people who would lose their jobs with the loss of the project, so he understood it on an economic standpoint. Immediately, the class began pinging with people telling him that the climate is deteriorating at a much faster rate than any economic gains can be made, and also that alternative profits could be pursued if you just switched to sustainable/clean energy projects, because you'd need infrastructure in any case. My professor had a tough time trying to mediate among the almost-thirty students talking over each other.

Yesterday, we discussed the recent protests for LGBTQ rights in Poland. Apparently the current dominant party in Poland, the right-wing "Law and Justice" Party, discriminates against the LGBT community and regards it as an ideology instead of actual living, breathing groups of people. According to my professor (I haven't fact-checked but the prof is pretty knowledgeable so I'll take her word for it), Poland is part of the EU, and as an EU member, countries are required to be defending human rights, so there's definitely a conflict of interests there. I know Lucas was/is very interested in this issue as he's Polish, I think he'd be intrigued in all the things I've been studying, to be honest. It'd be nice to talk to him about them, but alas, we'll see. 

We also began talking about the growing acceptance of socialism in the United States, especially among millennials and younger. We spoke of how there's been a loss of faith in capitalism, especially after the 2008 mortgage bubble burst and instead of helping the majority of the country, the federal government bailed out big banks (who were the ones at fault!!!!), so people are seeking alternative modes of economy to place their trust in. 

Another, different guy said to abolish capitalism would be to erode the American identity and the "great American Dream". My prof didn't even let people speak even though we were all asking to voice our opinions, so people began flooding the chat. The following were voiced by all different people and have been reproduced verbatim.
I don't think the younger generation believes in the "American dream" anymore. There will be some resistance for sure, but I don't think people are so easily brainwashed by that fantasy. They have different values.
In the U.S, they currently spend the most money on the medical system compared to any countries (medicare).  Going to medicare, would save them money.
To me the problem is that the system is sort of “rigged”. It’s no longer possible for people to traditionally work hard and succeed. For those that are rich, it’s much easier to build their financial empire. Poor people don’t even have liveable wages which is pretty insane. I don’t think anyone should have to work 2 or 3 jobs just to make ends meet. Another issue is that I think the wealthy gain their money off the backs of the poor.
It's a long-held notion in American culture that it's great to have as free of a population as possible, with a high value on the individual to do what they want. And while it's not exactly brainwashing so much as tradition, people seem to be finding out that, unfortunately,  "freedom to do what you want" also means "freedom for powerful scumbags to also do what they want"
The growing wealth gap between the mega rich and the working class is making it pretty much impossible for working people to get by, let alone climb the socioeconomic ladder
True, but (to be fair) our generation isn't always the best at explaining WHY a political movement or idea is the best solution to a problem - particularily to potential voters. We often spend more time talking about how great a solution is rather than how it's a great solution.
yes, the rich have way too much power
My first open-book test for politics is next week. I'm doing it at a different time from the rest of the class, because my prof doesn't want me to do it at 2am, so I'll be doing it in the morning in Singapore, evening time in Vancouver. I've been doing as well as can be expected, in my different modules and classes (which is to say, actually, quite well). 

However, of course something's gotta give. My sister has recently been facing another serious bout of depression and we drove to get her home from work two nights ago because she just began crying. Whenever this happens, it usually falls to me to reiterate the situation to my mother and grandmother. It is a very weird situation to happen, for me to try explaining the medical terms of depression in Malay to my Malay-speaking grandmother, because she doesn't speak adequate English. 

Imagine me saying this in Malay, if you can: The analogy I use is, if a person's kidneys fail, we don't blame the patient, we instead send them for dialysis to cope, because their kidneys aren't functioning the way they were intended to, and by hook or by crook, toxic waste still has to be processed and discarded from the body. I try to inform my mom and grandma, that my sister's brain doesn't quite function as intended, and it either doesn't produce enough serotonin, or her neurotransmitter receptors are blocked or not functioning as well as another person's regular brain does, and she needs all the help she can get.

The fact that I have a sister with serious mental health issues is why I vocally disagree with and disapprove of capitalism. It's unfair that someone with a physical handicap, or visible conditions such as some forms of autism etc, would be helped along by their parents and family, whilst many of my family members still expect my sister to go to work, and be some form of "productive", or start considering her a burden. My sister never chose to be in such a state of mental health, and adding more guilt onto her plate is counterproductive at best, and morally bankrupt at worst. When you birth a kid, you should be choosing to accept them and support them, regardless their physical or mental or psychological state, and they're not a burden no matter how they turn out. If anything, if your brain is functioning at optimum human capacity and you choose to treat someone as a burden if they can only function at a lower level than you do, you're the real burden on society. 

Today I started crying when I told my sister I would willingly be the person she chooses to hate if I had to force her to take her own medication, every day. When you have a loved one with such a condition, I think sometimes you have to accept that one of you has to be the bad guy, because they're not capable of taking care of themselves. I'm a little tired of it, I do hope I see her becoming permanently stable and able to cope with her life, before I leave for Canada. My grandmother has talked to me and told me her hopes rest with me, because my other sisters and I understand my sister best, and I am the only full-blood sister she has, and I can get through to her sometimes. I have very little bandwidth for this, I wish neither of us had such issues with our mental health, and when the depression causes my sister to be mean, I wish I could put it aside and know for sure that it's not the real her speaking, but it gets to me. I'm lacking proper rest, and I have my own issues to deal with, I'm constantly weighing the worry about my bank loan for school and paying off its interests, against the eventual payoff when I go out into the workforce. If you have the bandwidth for it, please, I'm really asking for help, because I'm tired, and my sister is tired, and I don't know what else to do.