Wednesday, November 18, 2020


you did all that you could do 
the game was rigged, 
the ref got tricked 
the wrong ones think they're right 
you were outnumbered, this time 

but only the young 
only the young 
only the young can run 
can run, so run 
and run, and run 

so every day now 
you brace for the sound 
you’ve only heard on TV 
you go to class, scared 
wondering where 
the best hiding spot would be 
and the big bad man and his big bad clan 
their hands are stained with red 
oh how quickly, they forget 

they aren't gonna help us 
too busy helping themselves 
they aren't gonna change this 
we gotta do it ourselves 
they think that it's over 
but it's just begun

Taylor Swift has a song called Only The Young that she wrote after Donald Trump became the last president. I think the title is slightly ironic, because both candidates this time were geriatric white men who must be so out of touch with most of Gen Z’s requests for the world they’re gonna grow up in. Heck, I’m a millennial and I’m already out of touch with my sisters sometimes, a lot of the time.

I unravelled last night. I should have known something was up when I refused to schedule therapy. I’m not one to do the difficult thing, I push and shove until the difficult thing is done, but I don’t do it. The last time I faced a difficult decision, this was exactly what was said to me: “if it were me, I’d want to run away too” so I tried to run away, again. I’m 30 and I still don’t want to do the difficult things. Come on, Sarah, where is your character development?

I’m on the way to the office to submit my biometrics for my pending visa application. I also put in an email to the landlord of an apartment I saw on craigslist. The place looks quite alright in photos, so fingers crossed. I had a massively long night, but I’m glad I unravelled through the night, because I needed to.