Wednesday, March 21, 2018

'COS I LIKE YOU

isn't it? isn't it? isn't it?
isn't it? isn't it? isn't it delicate?


This is my new favourite ever Taylor Swift music video. My sister Melyssa and I are very confused, we were like "damn it she might have all the shit problematic politics but we still suckers for her music and videos" we are suckers I tell ya, suckaz.

I love this video, though, I'm sure Taylor would love to be invisible sometimes, and so do I. Is this the new Taylor Swift music video I will emulate? Who even knows anymore?

I wonder if perhaps she also has BPD. I mean, you must have some pretty intense emotions to have written all those songs about people. You know, at the time I posted the Shake It Off cover video, a lot of people were telling me that I do remind them of Taylor Swift, which if you think about it, isn't such a good thing: she's a dramatic, self-entitled prick, who always makes things about herself.....

.....I am the Singaporean Taylor Swift, aren't I? Sighsies. Maybe she really does have BPD, I mean, we can't control our condition, okay!

Speaking of being invisible, I am going to be really candid in this post. I like attention, but I suppose I cannot control the sort of attention I get. Ever since I broke up with my first real serious boyfriend, a decade ago, I already knew there would be a problem writing about my relationships and love with men.

The girls he dated after me were all... quite preoccupied with finding out everything that had happened with him and I, even like, years after we actually dated. Also, the guys I dated would also be preoccupied in finding out the same thing.

So sometimes, when I'm dating or when I'm trying to get over someone, you can see their name like 40, 70, hundreds of times on this single page, and you wonder, is this girl really over him? I think I also make it difficult by writing it down, because yes, everyone probably gets reminded of their exes and their dates by hearing certain songs, or walking past certain places, but then the moment passes, and the link is broken, but I cement those moments by writing about them, and making them a thing.

I also use the word love very frequently, so it sets a lot of people on edge. I don't know what I'm trying to say, or I know, but I don't know how to say it. If someone's name is not in this post, then I am very much over them.

If you know all of the things, all of these things that everyone else does, and you know all of the things I've tangled myself in, and gotten other people tangled in, and you like me, you must like me for me?

we can't make any promises now, can we babe?
but you can make me a drink

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