JOE ALWYN

When Taylor Swift started dating Joe Alwyn, they kept it lowkey and out of the public eye as best they could, and suddenly they've been together for two years. I know y'all know I don't even secretly stan Taylor so imma try do the same. Maybe if I don't mention the person I'm dating so much, it will go much better. Maybe, I don't know, there's no science to this. You either have it or you don't.

I want to stay at his apartment forever, though, it's warmer than mine, which is a thing I should probably bring up to my landlord, but we'll see how it goes. We watched the Bandersnatch episode of Black Mirror together, he loves Black Mirror as much as I do, and we watched Rick & Morty, and we watched the great horror that was the Fyre Festival crash and burn to pieces. That documentary is possibly the best example of schadenfreude, we laughed so hard at these rich people getting scammed. If anyone deserves it, these rich-ass spoilt mofos definitely did. 

He plays a game called Detroit: Become Human and he was talking me through it while playing but I fell asleep. I figure as long as I don't mention his name or what he does or where he works, it's lowkey enough, right? Lol you'll never know who it is even if you were talking to him. 

When Tina and I were in Chinatown for the march on Saturday, we were seated next to a couple on their first date and JFC, it did not pan out the way they would have wanted, I'm guessing. Tina began texting me and I swear I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep from laughing.

Tina: They are totally on
Tina: A first date or something lol
Tina: This is an awful place for a date
Tina: Like it's not romantic at all
Tina: And it's loud
Tina: Like what lol
Tina: She's too cute for him anyway

Sarah: I thought the same!!! I was thinking oh im so glad we went to slate

Tina: "do you know what weather is"

Sarah: TINA STOP

Tina: "In Florida we have weather! It's different than the weather here"
Tina: "We also have water in Florida!"
Tina: "Oh in Japan we have water too"
Tina: oh thats weird

Sarah: Omg

Tina: "OH I HAVE TWO KIDS"

Sarah: "I forgot to mention"

Tina: "I forgot to put that in my profile" yeah billshjt

Sarah: I cant stay here any longer help

Tina: Oh god thats intense
Tina: He's really bad at this

So anyway, the guy had just gotten separated from his wife two months ago, and the moment he mentioned his kids, the conversation began spiralling even further out of his control, and when we left the cafe, I just let out all the giggles I'd been holding in.

Ben and I met as friends on Friday, we had a great time at Caveat NYC. Sometime last week, he mentioned to me that SpaceX had laid off some employees, and something about it got to me. I don't know if people think I don't wish well on guys I used to date. Joey was immature with me, but I also really do think he's good at his job, and I don't hope that any of the guys lose their jobs or whatever. Like, obviously I'll talk some shit about Adam right after we break up, but overall I would still wish him the best in his life. The only person I really give no fucks about was Grayson. He was travelling the world recruiting students for a prestigious university, and because he was a mentor/advisor of sorts, I think his credibility as an honest person factors into his work. So I have never regretted sending his compromising photos and texts to his board of administration. Fuck that guy. What a predator.

Anyway. Apparently it's the chilliest outside. It is negative 10 in Celsius/14 degrees Fahrenheit. It is literally the coldest I've been in my life. I'm not leaving this apartment. He's making us sandwiches and smoothies.