Thursday, March 28, 2019

A LOT LIKE LOVE

I think the challenge, for me at least, is to find someone I love and also like. The challenge is not in falling in love, because that I do easily. You can train yourself to love someone or grow that love, but you can't really force yourself to like a person. Like is an organic thing you feel for someone's true nature, love is an act you decide on. I think I've only really liked three people I loved or dated, and they were my second boyfriend, Joey, and Bennett. I'm not quite sure of the qualities I can say I like, but I'm kinda sure Adam and I broke up because we didn't really like each other, which is to say nothing of our characters but rather of individual preferences. I'm still waiting for any word from the four colleges I applied for. I don't like the waiting game. Even if I didn't get in, I'd rather just find out sooner rather than later. Now I'm just anxious that if I do get through, I have more and more limited time to sort out bank loans, accommodation, and things like that. On a subconscious level, I am nervous about things. I went to see Jordan Peele's Us in theatres, with Viv yesterday. It is not as amazing as Get Out was to me, but then Get Out set a really high bar. Viv has been sending me theories from redditors and whatnot, and the level of meta, is srsly next level. So many Easter eggs in the show. It is extremely creepy, and I had fun shrieking and screaming, as did everyone else cussing out during the film, I think.

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