Saturday, March 16, 2019

ADRENALINE

There is a cough syrup that I really like, it's called Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa. It's a thick, sweet syrup that I like to drink sometimes even when I'm not sick, so when I'm really ill it's like my favorite thing ever. My mom knows this so she bought me individual sachets for me to bring to New York, I didn't even know they existed in such a form. You just tear one open and drink out of it, it's like a candy. That kinda small thing reminds me that my mom loves me. It's very cute, I love Nin Jiom. Anyway, I've been watching Formula 1: Drive To Survive on Netflix. It reminds me of the adrenaline I had in LA. It's a whole other world, I think. Especially for Singaporeans. It's a tiny city state here, there are too many cars and traffic lights, and speed limits mean everything, and you can't even race at night 'cos you'd get demerit points and all that. One of the lines I heard in the show, is possibly true to the type of person I am: the highs are very high, and the lows are very low. I want to experience everything, and I can't or tend not to say no to anything. I remember when I first got to know Joey, I was on his bed while he was at work. I texted him "do you work at the SpaceX, like Elon Musk's company?" and he said yes of course, because there isn't any other SpaceX. Sometimes I confuse myself because I want to be in every space possible. I want to feel the rush of racing in cars, but at the same time, I don't agree with the personal politics of a lot of rich people. For example, when I was in New York and especially when I was dating Adam, he was completely against Amazon setting up their second headquarters in the city, because it would have driven up rent and priced out regular everyday citizens who live there. This is something Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez also campaigned for, she didn't want Amazon to be set up there, which eventually really fell through. When Amazon said they were pulling out of their plans to set up in NYC, Barbara Corcoran, who is one of the sharks on Shark Tank, was immensely upset. She's a New York-based real estate mogul but on Shark Tank, she can be extremely empathetic, she's dyslexic so she used to be called the dumb girl in school, and she helps so many business owners who have reading or learning disabilities, when they come on the show to pitch their companies. It's strange, Barbara said NYC lost out on a great opportunity, but of course, she hasn't lived like the majority 99% (?) in New York for ages. I don't know where I'm going with this, I just think that there are so many layers and dimensions to everyone and everything, and it's so hard to pick and choose what the right and wrong is. In any case, I've finally started driving lessons. As a person who takes note of too many stimuli at once, I'm a little nervous about it. I do however think that if millions of people can do it, so can I. I'll let my conscious brain and unconscious brain settle it, one of them will take over the activity. I figure if I'm living on my own eventually, it would be useful to be able to drive and move my things around if it gets down to it.

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