Saturday, March 09, 2019

PARADIGM

So I suppose I sorta, kinda used to believe in soulmates or something like it? Like I believed in a higher power so it would reassure me that oh there is someone out there who was actually really made to be my partner. And then I stopped believing, but 90% of people around me and that I'm close to believe in that whole thing so it's hard to really shift away from that mindset, right. Now I feel more anxious because if no one was made to be my soulmate, what if I end up alone or settling when I shouldn't? Speaking of beliefs, sometimes I think of the things my grandma says to me and I swear I have to hold back my laughter because it really is nonsense to me. So she doesn't like me to be completely naked, even if I'm in my room alone, putting on my makeup after a shower. She always says I should at least have a towel wrapped around me because "even if no human eyes are on me, there are unseen 'djinns' looking at me"?? Also if you have long nails or paint them, there are apparently tiny little devils/demons sitting on them. If you whistle, you're calling the devil. Basically everything has to do with this supposed devil creature. Man, I don't even get it, is it culture or scripture? I just want to study and emancipate myself and if I ever have a daughter, I'm going to let her wear whatever, hook up whenever, and introduce the best birth control to her. What century is my family living in????? Jfc bye felicia.

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