Tuesday, August 6, 2019


It's my last night in Tokyo, with Lucas. Travelling with a partner is very different from what I'm used to. I used to couchsurf and make friends easily, but different phases of life call for different experiences. This place holds a lot of memories. My sharp memory has always been a double-edged sword, I remember all the details and forget none. When Joey was here, he sent me photos of a patchwork doll he saw in a park. Adam had a half-Japanese girlfriend, he introduced me to Terrace House and I still continue to watch it and think of him, and Bennett was extremely excited when he told me he'd found the exact same ramen in Brooklyn that he'd had in Japan. I am happy now, though, so I look back and I thank every person for having gotten me to this point of happiness in my life. On this trip, Lucas and I have each had some bowel movement problems. My period started yesterday, and I usually have a bit of the runs when my period cramps are bad. Last night in bed, Lucas asked when my worst menstrual period had been, and I told him about the time in May/June last year. I usually know my period cramps can get terribly painful, but this one time, they still managed to surprise me. Even though I was on my off day, wearing a comfortable sweater and having eaten a full meal of pasta and drank a mug of hot chocolate during a premium cinema experience, I still could not get through the entire movie, so I went to the nearest public restroom. In the toilet, the cramps were so bad and I had absolutely no energy to go get painkillers, despite the full meal, so I lay down on the cubicle floor clutching at my stomach for two hours waiting for the pain to subside. Lucas has no sisters and he doesn't have the best relationship with his mother, so I told him what I have experienced and seen as a woman, and maybe as a woman having grown up in Asia. Due to the fact that for much of history until recently, medicine as an industry has been dominated by men, sometimes male doctors misdiagnose and underdiagnose symptoms and conditions faced by women, right. The fact is, sometimes periods can hurt as much as a heart attack, and they can actually take a toll on the mental and physical wellness of a woman/anyone with a period. So, anyway, I told Lucas that sometimes extremely painful periods are caused by strange, abnormal things like the fallopian tubes being twisted or in the wrong positions or any such thing, and sometimes I wonder if that's what's happening in my body because I don't believe period pains should be so excruciating. Having listened to me describe the things that could be wrong with a reproductive system, Lucas turned away and said he was queasy 'cos he couldn't handle the thought of blood. This man!!!!! White men are the most fragile!!!!!!!! Anyway, we went through mishaps in Nikko because we wanted to see a waterfall, but we kept missing the bus schedules and whatever, but even though I was tired as fuck, we were both deliriously making each other laugh, and as I started off in this post, travelling with someone is massively different than travelling by yourself. I wanted to stay angry when things didn't go my way, but he made me laugh against my will, and anyway Lucas is out of the shower, we are heading to Kyoto tomorrow, travelling with the love of your life is gr8, 372163/10 I absolutely recommend and I hope you find the love of your life okbye. I might write a little bit better when I get home or when Lucas isn't looking over my shoulder, I would not live here because it is extremely homogeneous and they are not used to seeing a dark-skinned person and every time I feel like they're looking at me, I can't tell if it's my outfit or it's because they're not used to seeing a brown person!!!!!!! All photos and superfluous captions are here.

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