Thursday, January 28, 2021


to all your friends, you're delirious
so consumed in all your doom
trying hard to fill the emptiness
the piece is gone, let the puzzle undone

There's an anecdote about drinking pee, at the start of this performance, and the way he tells the story always makes me laugh. Also, this rendition of Beautiful always gets me through the low episodes much better than Christina Aguilera does. Might have something to do with the rock'n'roll sound. 

I've been going through a bit of a funk, if you can't tell. However, I've still been laughing quite a bit, with all the company I'm fortunate to still keep in my life. It helps, it really helps in keeping on keeping on. I went out with two close friends recently, and we had the funniest honest conversation about sex. Sometimes I don't know who wants what put on here, so I just mention things in the abstract, but sometimes it's really funnier when you can put names to faces. So this one friend and I were commiserating about how it used to be when we wanted to have sex when we were younger, and how it is now that we're thirty. I said when I was younger, I would be wet the moment I was raring to go, but now (or in recent times), if you wanted to have sex, you'd have to look for the lube, and the sex toy, and the everything, and sometimes you really wonder, alive, but at what cost? We're adults now, and take my word for it, adulthood is a drag, guys.

Last weekend, we visited one of our lululemon friends Monica, who has the most adorable baby Ohlin. We played with him and the cat Misty, and we took a long bus ride to her place, and on retrospect, it was a really nice thing four of us had that long bus ride to just talk about everything and nothing. It was such a good way to spend the weekend and have therapy with a baby and a cat, and to catch up with one another and talk things unrelated to work. 

Yesterday I was out with my family. We had KBBQ for dinner and realized how fucking silly we can all be, for a family that I consider quite smart most of the time. My sister Lyssa said her Malay dance teacher used to say undo the Malay way, which is like "oon-dough", and she thought it so funny, but then my mom said she might've been saying undur, which is Malay for reverse/go backwards, which makes much more sense considering she's a Malay teacher, so we all laughed at my sister.

Then I told them that a scrub nurse in the operating theatre is called boki, because that's what it's called on Grey's Anatomy. I was so adamant on it until I searched it up and realized the nurse on Grey's is South Korean and her name is Bokhee, and I had been making up a word for a professional position for a good part of ten years!

I don't know if it translates well into typed text, but I've been thinking about these moments I laughed till I cried. I love them. It's been okay. Keep on keeping on, y'all. Just keep on keeping on, and I'll see you on the other side. I love you, and we can do this. I have a solo four-page 15%-weighted assignment due in 18 hours, and the timezone discrepancies are really not helping me keep tabs on deadlines. Jesus H Christ, please take me to Canada, please. 

Also, the stock market is a farce, and y'all should get in on GameStop if you can. The whole thing, the stock market, money, Wall Street, all of it is a sham, regardless.

No comments: