ARE YOU THERE, GOD? IT’S ME, SARAH MEI

It’s been quite a week. I feel like that may be how I’ve started my last few posts here. Has it actually been how I started them? I don’t know, I haven’t reread them recently so I don’t recall. Since my last post, I started on a new job whilst I finish the last stretch of my bachelor’s degree here in Nanaimo/Snuneymuxw land. I work at a center for people with addiction issues, where they do a two-month live-in treatment program that helps set them up on their recovery journey. It’s definitely a side of life that may not get thought about nor spoken about as often, perhaps sometimes due to a shame carried by the patients, but it’s also a healthcare service so there are confidentiality issues in place, for sure. I’ve enjoyed it for the most part. There’s such a sense of fulfilment and feeling like I’m doing important work that makes a difference, when you see some patients go through a stark change between the first day they arrive and when they leave, and have been equipped with some of the tools to do better in future. There are people whom you know will pick better choices if they’re afforded the circumstances, although of course, with any real problems, there are also relapses and underlying issues and systems that haven’t been dealt with, etc etc. 

I just celebrated my 36th birthday, and it was a lovely one. It’s probably my favourite birthday I’ve celebrated so far. I feel like I’m so happy with the person I’ve become and keep becoming that it’s so good to celebrate me, and there are so many stellar people whom I love, who also celebrated me. What an exceptional kind of joy. This may be shooting myself in the foot, but somehow, in the fucking weirdest of ways, I think I may be going on my last first date soon. We matched about a week ago, and I feel like we’d hit it off really well in person, although each of us is going through a different type of busyness in our respective lives (I go through convocation in about a week and my family members are going to be here for two weeks to celebrate my achievement!). Anyway, I don’t know what to say about why I think it’ll be my last first date. I don’t think he’ll see nor read this, but before we even matched, for a while, for maybe two weeks or so, I had this name in my head. Like just randomly I’d be thinking of this man’s name and I’m like, why am I thinking of this name, I haven’t had a friend with this name for years, the last one I knew was in Singapore. But now we matched, and we may be going on a date soon, and whatever, like, this all could be hokey, obviously, but I think he’s very cute and we align quite well, at least on paper/screen/when we’ve texted. So we’ll see.