Wednesday, March 20, 2019

MOOD

To be honest, I think I really do need to get back to school. I just feel like there is so much potential I have yet to tap on. I know a degree doesn't mean everything, and that learning can happen anytime, but I also think everyone who says so, is able to do so from the comfortable position of having gone through a college education and gotten a degree, so that's pretty much moot. I think I hinge on love because I haven't been able to really better myself and my opportunities, and of course, the solution to furthering oneself as a woman in society was always through marriage. I don't believe in God but jeez do I really want this. I told my sister I'm a little bit scared to potentially go back to school and be pitted against all these youngsters who have come straight out of high school and have been conditioned to study and read and burn through all-nighters and gotten themselves in that momentum. I'm a little afraid of being left behind and that I've forgotten how to study, if there is such a thing. On the flipside, I would say my age does also equip me with a certain level-headedness and maturity, and some foresight and clarity to know what matters to me and what doesn't, and I think I have a bigger passion and fire and grit to stick through the entire run. I have the drive because I've taken long enough out of the game, and I know just how much I need this. Please let me have this.

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