Monday, April 29, 2019


I had a good day. I met Kyrene, one of my closer friends from work. We played a couple of arcade games, one of which was racing, and that reminds me I should probably be more consistent with my driving lessons. We watched Endgame, and I cried. This is no surprise because I cry at anything. I am also proud of my ability to cry, in this world that pressures you not to show your feelings. We went to Tami's house because she recently had a surgery and has been recuperating at home. We watched I Think You Should Leave and definitely detected Andy Samberg/SNL humor in it, which means it was whack as all hell. Loved it. We talked about dating, because Tami is married, I can't find a suitable suitor here, not least because I have no interest in staying here and no interest in the people here, and Kyrene has a paralyzing fear of talking to potential suitors, although Tami and I think she's a total badass. Tami tried to give us both advice. They both joked that I should really try a stint on 90-Day Fiancé. I don't understand why, from what I hear, it seems like the participants on that show are problematic in one way or another. If I appeared on the show, I would feel like I have less worth because I'm resorting to such means to find either love or a green card. I think I'm a decent, dateable person, just with pretty much no boundaries of privacy. I resolutely refuse to believe no man would love me and marry me and live in the US with me, just based on the person I am. I must be an okay person if the men I date keep wanting to stay friends! They're just all not looking for someone to marry yet. If I weren't a semi-decent person, they wouldn't want to keep talking to me and being friends, especially the ones who don't try to make booty calls. Right? Have I got it all wrong and twisted? Are men completely different from women? Have I been thinking completely wrong as a feminist? Fuck me up real good, fam, this yo chance.

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