Sunday, April 28, 2019

MISERY BUSINESS

I met my best friends to celebrate Tiqs' birthday. We had a great time but before we all met, Han and I went to the brunch place together (because we live ten minutes away from each other and pretty much always have). So Han talked about how she'd read that I am now becoming even more open about my inability to have cum as yet, on here and everywhere else. I figure I might as well say it 'cos regardless whether anyone knew, it was still not happening for me anyway. She said it could be a little bit of a mental thing, but could also be physical, and she agrees with a lot of men that I should probably explore it by myself. It's tough because my family clearly does not condone such activities, and physically it's even more inconvenient because I currently share a room with my fifteen-year-old sister. Anyway, I was telling Han that honestly I really need to have strong feelings for a man before I lose myself and enjoy the moment, and then I get so frustrated because I can't tell the causality. Do I really like Joey and/or Bennett and that's why I enjoyed myself physically, or is it the fact that I could have pure fun with them, that made me feel strongly and miss them even now? This is ridiculous. I need to see a sex therapist. Half my misery and tension from life might be solved if I could cum. Or maybe that's pushing it, but still. I could have some release. I can't afford therapy so ranting to the internet is the next best thing. Right?

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